A tour is a crazy, exciting, and occasionally character building world of its own – turn up not knowing anyone, enjoy a few killer weeks, and leave with you-had-to-be-there stories and friends for life. If you’ve been on a tour, you’ll know what we’re talking about. If you haven’t yet, you’ll get a feeling of what to expect – The best experience of your life.

 

  1. I hope there are some hot people.
  2. I hope I like the tour guide.
  3. I hope there are some fun people.
  4. What if they don’t like me?
  5. I hope this won’t be awkward.
  6. I may have made a huge mistake.
  7. I hope we don’t have to stand in a circle and introduce ourselves.
  8. I hope there are no team-building or other uncomfortable introductory activities.
  9. That girl is by herself. I’m going to talk to her.
  10. She’s nice. *Latching on*
  11. She’s Australian. And so is that guy, and those girls, and those guys.
  12. Are we all Australian?
  13. Found a guy from New Zealand.
  14. And a Canadian.
  15. They’re complaining about all the Australians.
  16. The tour guide is talking.
  17. He’s Australian.
  18. That joke was obvious.
  19. OK that was somewhat amusing.
  20. Maybe this will be really fun.
  21. So glad I didn’t have to organise that itinerary.
  22. I can’t wait for that place, and that one.
  23. I heard I need to be careful of pickpockets there.
  24. The pickpockets are children?! That’s terrifying.
  25. Luggage weigh in.
  26. They won’t care if it’s a little bit over, right?
  27. Are my palms sweating?
  28. 1kg under!
  29. That means I can shop.
  30. Why did I pack so light?
  31. I could’ve fit a second bikini.
  32. Time to choose my bus seat.
  33. Definitely want one with a window.
  34. Or is aisle better?
  35. Thank goodness there’s a bathroom.
  36. This seat is unbelievably comfortable!
  37. I bet those two hook up.
  38. I have a bus buddy.
  39. She seems nice.
  40. Australian, obviously.
  41. This scenery is beautiful.
  42. We’re here!
  43. This accommodation is awesome.
  44. That guy is cute. Is he with that girl?
  45. Party tonight.
  46. I can’t do shots.
  47. I LOVE SHOTS.
  48. MORE SHOTS.
  49. I love my bus seat.
  50. These mountains are amazing.
  51. But I need a nap.
  52. We’re here!
  53. Leaving hotel. Camera: check, phone: check, wallet: check
  54. So ready to explore!
  55. This place is incredible.
  56. Wait, I need to take a photo!
  57. Can you take a photo of me in front of this building/body of water/valley/statue/other point of interest?
  58. This is delicious.
  59. What is this called?
  60. I wonder if I can make it.
  61. What is that guy doing?
  62. Better stick close to the group.
  63. Time to go back to the hotel. I’m exhausted and surprisingly dusty.
  64. Are my feet broken?
  65. A shower and early to bed for me tonight I think.
  66. We’re going on the pub crawl.
  67. I LOVE FREE SHOTS.
  68. I hate free shots.
  69. I hate the sun.
  70. I love my travel pillow.
  71. I love this scenery.
  72. I hate this song.
  73. How long till we get there?
  74. Yes, we’re here.
  75. What is this place we’re staying at?
  76. I wonder how many times these guides make these speeches.
  77. He’s so enthusiastic.
  78. It must be a cool job.
  79. I wonder if I could do that.
  80. I would have to build up my resistance to shots.
  81. This city is so amazing! I want to come back here.
  82. Walking, walking, walking.
  83. Is that the coliseum?
  84. It’s surrounded by busy roads.
  85. What a weird contrast.
  86. There’s a guy dressed as a Roman guard.
  87. Group photo!
  88. We are so obnoxious.
  89. I’m sure they’re all happy we’re having fun.
  90. Our group is so much better than that group.
  91. This line is so long.
  92. Move faster!
  93. They’re being such tourists.
  94. This building is older than my country.
  95. People fought lions in here.
  96. I think…
  97. That was definitely worth the wait.
  98. Can’t wait to flop on my bed.
  99. What is this mattress?
  100. Is this a mattress?
  101. My feet are dying.
  102. Pub crawl!
  103. Can’t say no to free drinks.
  104. MORE FREE DRINKS.
  105. I secretly love this song.
  106. Looks like everyone does.
  107. Time for a new bar!
  108. This free drink is not as strong as the last free drink.
  109. What happened last night?
  110. I can’t believe it’s already our last day.
  111. This has been so much fun.
  112. Where am I going to go next?
  113. My new tour group besties and I just talked about booking a tour together next year!
  114. Last day in my snuggly bus seat.
  115. What is that smell?
  116. The countryside is so green.
  117. We’re here!
  118. Open bar until 11pm.
  119. It’s nearly 11 – top up with three drinks
  120. TIME FOR SHOTS.
  121. I LOVE SHOTS.
  122. SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS.
  123. Mmm bed.
  124. Is it time for the airport already?
  125. Have to say goodbye.
  126. This is so sad.
  127. We will be friends forever.
  128. Write to me every day. Seriously.
  129. Did I really spend that much on beer?

Author’s Bio: Courtney Gahan is a serial expat, traveller and freelance writer who has bartered with Moroccan marketeers, seen the sun rise at Angkor Wat and elbowed her way through crowds on NYE in NYC. 

 

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